Female Entrepreneurs - Are You Headed for BurnoutMar 31, 2021
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Hey purses, how are you
I'm going to try and share this into my group at the same time, see if I can get technology. Yeah. What happened, there I am. Hi, I do want to talk to you. Just give me one moment, very quickly. If I see if I can share this fancy, fancy stuff technology stuff here we go. There we go click, click, click.
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see what happens when we do this is experimenting outside the comfort zone, it's good. So darlings, I wanted to have a little chat with you about burnout, otherwise known as a breakdown. Nervous breakdown, otherwise known as exactly where I was heading and went through in 2012, so I literally remember talking to a client of mine so I was hairdressing at the time going, I'm having a nervous breakdown and I'm going to go to Bali to have 10 days off, kind of laughing and making a joke about it, but it was real. It was kind of out really really weird. So burnout right. Do you know who is most likely to suffer burnout and breakdown overachievers and highly functioning people, people who are like the ones who can do the ones who are like, leave it to me I can, I can take care of this I can take care of pretty much anything that life throws at me were the ones who have burnt out, the ones who have the breakdowns, can you believe it. And look it, you know, I kind of kind of being a bit funny but it is actually the truth. We're the ones who take a lot of the responsibility and burden, and caring and nurturing and with good jugglers we can like, Ooh, look at me I've got 20 things up in the air and I'm still doing this and I'm still here meaning. I'm still human being. Problem with being highly functioning. The problem with being overachieving the problem with being the person who can make shit happen and get things done, is that you will keep pushing through, keep pushing, pushing, pushing, and you don't know where your limit is, because you've never encountered it, you don't know what your limit is, until you've gone too far. And then you're broken, like, and the elastic band has, has snapped right instead of you bouncing back, it's actually. Whoa, where what is happening why, what's going on with my brain what's going on with my nervous system. What's going on with my sleep. Why can't I sleep. Why can't I read this paragraph and understand what it is that I'm reading Why is my brain not able to focus, why can I not go deep in focus now. Yeah, so 2012 Like that's like, wow, nearly 10 years ago, eight years ago, nine years ago, something like that. I had, I was like, headline, massive business empire happening so we had a hair salon, we had a product distribution company that will distributing product from America, all the way around Australia we have fashion boutique going had a team of 10 staff. And, you know we're making good money and everything was shit wasn't getting any Slave I had really. I'm like, really there's really poor communication between me and my dish, my supplier. I was, I would communicate very conscientiously and there was very, very poor communication coming back, which, you know, I did this is what it was, but I took it really personally, and it made things very difficult to plan because they were not giving me any kind of like certainty they were not. They were not taking responsibility for their end where they were like letting us down or things that they were putting back on us so it's just really really difficult time, my relationship was stretched had also stretched beyond repair. And so, like, it was not fun, it was not a fun time is very very dark. It was a dark time and. Hmm, I think, you know, I, the sleep is really bad, I was not getting much sleep and sleep is often one of those things that can go very quickly if you're under a lot of pressure right because you, you if you wake up in the middle of night and then all of a sudden your brain is like, I need to problem solve that I need to problem solve this day because, you know, as a highly functioning human, you and the problem solver and the go to person for fixing stuff making stuff happen, then your brain is like very like the problem solving part of your brain is like your superpower. It's like, sorry. Oh,
okay what else let me now good because I've been wanting to get, you know, through this disaster that we've got, and try and find a way through, or just obsess about the fact that we don't know what's going to happen next, we could obsess about that if we don't want to sleep, let's just obsess about that and it's really, really hard to get your sleep and when that happens. And so, you know, the thing is, Once you have sort of started in the downward spiral of burnout, he started in a downward spiral of a nervous breakdown. It's kind of like a slippery slope, having been through it myself, even though I was actually recognizing that what was happening was, was burnt out, I was very aware of it but I felt completely powerless as to what I could do about it. I, I really could not see a whole way out. And it was, It was really hard right because it was like watching a car crash in slow motion, and I was in the car. I kind of was sitting in the driver's seat. And yet, I couldn't break I couldn't, I couldn't find my way to avoid the collision that was coming. And, you know, the thing is, I did reach out, I was getting help, but there was still the problem. Part of the problem. Being a highly, highly functioning overachiever. Problem Solver go to person keeping everything together, being the person who makes it happen being the person who's going to pull it off and get through this and not fail. The problem with all of that was that was taking way too much responsibility for everybody else. I was the person who was responsible for everything. When really, I had a business partner, who was my life partner. It could have been taking a lot more responsibility. My team there was people have been with us for a really long time. You know they were taking responsibility but also covering a lot for them. And, you know, the suppliers. They could have taken a lot more responsibility and settle is like trying to please them, I guess you know and and so on. So, way too much responsibility, way too much of who I was tied up in being the person that keeps it all together and functioning highly functioning, I'm going to get through it again and make it happen again to, like, yeah. And so the question is for you. Are you in a similar kind of boat because you recognize that you're in a bit of a downward spiral. I would highly recommend that you catch yourself and do take more drastic action. For me, I took a 10 day holiday came back, and it was so much more real those worse than when I went, and they're not because they had a holiday but just because it was a car crash that was happening. And I might never systems suffered a lot, so it took me a long time to recover from that. That capacity to be able to read deeply to understand deeply, that's when he really started coming back in the last two years and we're talking so what nine years ago. The last two to three years I have had a child in the middle of that so I had Mom Brain but even before on pregnancy stuff, like there was definitely really hard on my nervous system, and having been growing my business and growing an online coaching and healing business since 2017. Like, especially earlier on, there's a real fear around taking on too much real fear and putting myself under too much pressure. And, you know, like, I've been so real impressive that like so, you know, the impact of breakdown income impact of having burnout, having gone through burnout, and, you know, being over responsible with taking on the responsibility of so many different people and making it mean a lot about myself and having my whole security my sense of security my life my future family you know I was doing all this work to get my life ready for me to have my kids like that. There's so much at stake, and I was taking it all on my shoulders. When
really, that's, you know, there was actually something in web technology that was refusing to acknowledge that that's not actually how it was meant to be. And so, you know, life pulled the rug out from underneath. I think it's like you know, at the end of the dinner time, the dinner time and a night grab all the four quarters of the time coffee put it all together and just take the mess away. That's literally what happened out, it'll coincide, pretty much with the birth of my child I was very lucky to have a baby on Steiners medically and fertile and I had a pregnancy and the miscarriage and then another pregnancy and I had a baby boy has the absolute delight of my life, and then, like the day he was born pretty much like three days later we shut down at this house had been sold and four weeks after he was born, I moved to Queensland back to my with him and my parents and I, I had a child, you know, raise my child of my own single parent by choice. So, you know, that was all very, very intense, and I think the thing is if we are headed for overwhelm we're heading for burnout. We're probably putting ourselves under way too much pressure and this something that's malignant is the proper word. There's this medical term to think of what that word is where it's like, the sun is a quality that is driving us, that is ultimately not aligned with our health and well being. It's not aligned with the most vibrant vital expression of our, of our happiness. Right, and the refusal to really see the truth of what might be so if you're going through some form of overwhelm, or you're headed towards burnout, you can see the silence stage an intervention for yourself, and I really encourage you to do this just honestly if you are there, like if you're experiencing something along those lines stage and intervention for yourself. And if you'd like help with that then, message me, because I do a breakthrough session with my clients that the 45 minutes to an hour. Well, not for my clients I do that for people who are potentially my clients and for people who yeah like. Basically if you have a business and you're you're looking for some clarity on what's truly going on for you if that's what I'm about I'm about clarity and confidence and without software leaks down for all of that. I don't want you to make the same mistakes that I made. You might be telling yourself you don't have time to or any options to do anything different, but if you really are off track, life will catch up to you. And I think that sense of heading towards burnout or the hence the sense of heading towards a breakdown of some form. That that is like very, very serious. It's a serious place to be if you find yourself in that, and recovery of it, even if you tell yourself you don't have time or space or energy or any options to do anything different. Right now, the recovery from burnout and recovery from a breakdown is actually, it's, it takes a long time, And it's quite debilitating and it's, it's something I would not recommend for anyone to have to go through so you can be proactive stage and intervention for yourself, or you can like just let that car crash happen, and then slowly pick up the pieces of your life and try and find your new normal because you, it's not a matter of being able to keep, keep limping through, it really isn't like that same from the Monty Python where the guy is getting his like arms and his legs and his body chopped off and he's like, just the flesh brain do you know like nothing I can, I can still do it. You don't know where the limit is until you completely cross it. And when you cross it. That's like that is very, very, very difficult place to find yourself in and to drag if. So if you want to say to intervention, then message me and we can jump on the phone and I'll take you through a breakthrough session so basically that's about, really looking at what's not working, what is working, but what's not working. And what would you like to be accomplishing in your life like what is that the outcome that you're working so hard for, and what is what is gonna be like a step by step strategy to get there so
that's what I help people to see on the call. Clearly if you're someone that would benefit from working with me, then we can talk about that. If not, I can certainly put you in the direction of someone or something that I think will be helpful for you right now. Okay, so I really hope that if any of you are like in that space or you have been through a breakdown of burnout that you do you hear this message, and you do value yourself enough to
just take a bit of time and space to really feel into, into the seriousness of where you are at and are you if you're telling yourself that there's no other options or you've done everything you can, or you'll be okay to just really revise that review that we're in a Mercury Retrograde so it's a great time for reviewing revising and yeah just be kind like choose kindness to yourself because life doesn't have to be hard. Other than when we tell ourselves. The story that it is hot, it really actually doesn't have to be hot. So, that's my Friday message of love sent to you all and have a beautiful weekend I'll see you next week.