Female Business Owners - How To Build Unshakable Self-Confidence

Mar 31, 2021

If you’re ready to create more freedom, clarity and traction in your life and business, click here to book your free Breakthrough Session:
https://kylieenkelmann.online/CONNECT/

You can also watch my FREE Masterclass- The 5 Shifts to Destroy Self Doubt and Confidently Grow Your Profitable Business here:
https://joinnow.live/s/lQgSXI

 

0:02
Hey bosses, how are you, it's Monday. Today I wanted to have a little chat about how to build unshakable self confidence. Like, that'd be nice. Well, it'd be nice to have like a little extra,

0:19
you know,

0:20
510 50 100% more self COVID So what we currently have.

0:27
I know that I used to

0:30
have a lot of social anxiety right as a, as a high school student,

0:36
and,

0:38
you know, as a young adult and then I became a hairdresser. So we solved social awkwardness to a certain extent, but I was an introvert and I still am a bit of an introvert. I'm an introvert who likes people. But I wanted to have a chat about building unshakable self confidence and what does that even mean it means that no matter why, you know that you've got yourself right and that you can trust in your own even believe in yourself, and also that you have what it takes. Right, so being able to count on yourself is like really really amazing. I used to have a really recurring story along the lines that was like, I can't handle it, it tends to be a bit of my go to. Like if I'm feeling very stressed and overwhelmed, I can't handle this, I can't handle this can't handle it. The content of this, and I recognize it now and I catch it pretty quickly because, you know, I've got plenty of evidence, they know how to handle some really prolonged intense shit right so, so, you know, I know then that, and I have belief. A belief system wrapped up that has got plenty of evidence around it that the men have what I'm going through to mother. No matter how heinous it seems to be that there's a gift in it, and that this, this situation is actually the way I need to row is here to help me grow so that I can tap into all the best that life has for me. So, you know that didn't come overnight, they came through, enduring some really painful stuff, and then looking back on the other side of it, having gotten through it and being like, oh, like it all makes total sense. Like it was all perfect. And while I'm less than what not have chosen that for myself because it was really hard. It makes absolute sense. And it has contributed to who I am and how I get to serve the world how I get to show up to life and work with clients and support them whenever they're going through, and I can have enormous empathy because whilst everybody has their own journey, I've seen some things right, I've got a few stamps in my passport that you know would never have chosen to go to that, that land that vibrational kingdom, I would never have chosen to be there. But, having been there I can also talk to people who are either going through that experience, or who have been there in a store on the recovery from it. I can actually, you know, empathize I can talk about the landscape I can talk about what strategies will help I got through it and you know there's there's a capacity to be with people in a way that I would never have been able to have if I hadn't gone through my own version of shit show, you know, dropping the F bombs today. Yeah, so let's have a chat about the three steps to building Unshakable Confidence so clearly my hands have been doing some healings today so the first one is to know yourself. Know your own caliber and to know how to tune into what is true for you. So, this can be a really tricky one for empaths so people who really feel other people's energies inherently can be really difficult for people, places, and it can be really difficult for for women in the 10th terms of where often like part about gender stereotyping is that we're very accommodating. We're very harmonizing and so we, we will accommodate people's needs, at the expense of our own, without actually ever recognizing that we're doing that, like, because it's just come so naturally like the way you know our from many of us, our mothers have role models that are putting their needs last and to, you know, serving the needs of the family or the environment rather than what their needs were so we just are drawn to doing the same thing and it's not like we're even consciously wanting to do that, it's just that that just kind of is out a default to go to so it's hard can be very tricky in that situation if you are like into people pleasing or harmonizing accommodating or allowing you know, peacekeeping or caretaking that it's hard to recognize what is actually true for you, like what is, how do I actually feel about the situation, especially if other people have made very clear what their opinions or preferences and needs are. And so, it's kind of like we have to do the emotional labor of do I know what their needs are, or do I actually have a good look at what's under the hood for me, do actually have a good look to see what my preference would be, and for so many of us will just be like, well that could be confronting that could cause conflict and I just won't do it. And so we throw ourselves under the bus, and we bury our needs we bury the fact that we might even have needs the different from the needs of those around us, and we harmonize and we place and we accommodate and we allow and we accept. Okay. But that does not go anyway along to port building self confidence for ourselves, it doesn't go anywhere along in the direction of meeting our own needs and giving from a full cup, you know, rather than serving everyone else first. We want to feel about our own cup and give from the overflow, and that's a very, very different way of, you know, showing up to the world, especially if you're like a caregiver, or, you know you're the, the resident, you know, nurturer So, but knowing yourself, knowing yourself knowing what you've been through knowing yourself and what you're what you're capable of being able to say hello money, how

7:03
are you.

7:04
Thanks for saying hello. Nice to see you here, just talking about buildings, self confidence which I'm sure you would know a lot of bad. But yeah, just tuning into like self knowledge, like so, weathering the storm. How many times have we weathered, right, we think that this current situation is going to take us out, if we think about what we've been through. Man, I'm sure you know I'm sure that when we actually acknowledge the path that we've been through that has brought us to hear that there is polarity that we can celebrate and own and be like, You know what, actually, I can kick ass when I need to, I can rely upon myself when I need to, I can solve major major headaches and problems when I need to so this storm is not going to take me out. So Self knowledge is really really important. The second thing is to really acknowledge, so building self confidence is all about acknowledging your wins, acknowledging those times when you did kick ass, it's all about acknowledging the times when you did something really hard. That was hard for you, it might not be might not be hard for anybody else on the planet. But for you, you had to overcome massive fear and resistance and during that you had to really stretch yourself out of your comfort zone, and it might be might be tiny stuff oh it's just this little tiny thing and I should have been able to do that, you know, months, years, lifetimes ago, but you didn't. He did it now you need to acknowledge it and the more that you can acknowledge and celebrate. You know the times and you do stretch out of your comfort zone, that's that helps to go a long way for building self confidence because when you acknowledge it, you show your brain, look, look at this thing here I did really really well. But, and the brain is,

8:54
oh yeah,

8:56
hey,

8:56
I'm gonna put that in the pile of evidence that says I can handle stuff right so we need to keep showing our brain, that we can do stuff. We do that by acknowledging. Otherwise our brain will default to what's wrong with the situation. What's wrong with me, what where's the threat coming from right so we and will accumulate, lots and lots of evidence of why we're under pressure and why we're under the stress and why the situation is tenuous right so when we acknowledge our greatness we acknowledge our wins and we can celebrate it, we're giving our brains something else to accumulate evidence of our competence, evidence of our greatest strength and intelligence. And the last thing that I'll talk about today is that really about building trust with yourself. Sorry minuses, acknowledge and celebrate all the wins big and little yes because what we're saying is so little sometimes it's not even that little right, like it's, it's like, I'll let one of my little wins might be like a massive win for somebody else and vice versa right so you just got to celebrate whatever it is. And so yeah, the last thing is about building trust with yourself so if you have made a decision, then you will honor that decision. Building trust for yourself also means like tuning into well, how do I really feel about this situation, and then acting accordingly to what you have discovered from what you truly want So, building trust with yourself, you can't just hear your needs and your preferences and then throw them under the bus and, you know, prioritize somebody else's needs and preferences or opinions, above your own, you really need to. You have to be the person who takes responsibility for listening to you for honoring and listening to your opinions even if it's just opinion you don't know it's back, listening to what your needs are, and meeting them for yourself like prioritizing that instead of placing them at the bottom of the list in terms of priorities and listening to other people's needs, preferences opinions about.

11:09
So

11:11
hearing yourself tuning it yourself and then having that allowing your heart, allowing what you know to be true to guide you, like so important, and when you start doing that say you, you have. Let's just say you have a really strong feeling about something about what you want or desire, about what you'd like to achieve. And you actually take an action to make that happen. Well what do you know you're going to start getting more guidance more internal guidance about what is right for you. And so, like, the more you do that and you build that trust with yourself, the more you just know you know when you're on track and you know when you're kind of getting pulled off track, and that is a really powerful place to be because when you know what it feels like to operate in alignment with your truth, like when you're congruent with what's in on your internal landscape is what's important to you and what you want to be achieving and you're making the outside world look like that, and acting in accordance with that that's congruency. That is when you actually know. Yes. This decision is right for me, this is the right action for me, this is what I need to be focusing on. And that is confidence. So, that's my little chat today. Nice to have you here, money, and if you are interested in learning more about how you can tune in to your own internal navigator and build your confidence that you can finally let go of self doubt and second guessing, then please send me a message, we can have a little chat, and I also have a free masterclass which is on the five shifts that I teach to work with my clients to help build self worth and to so that you can then once you like get some confidence and, you know, destroy the doubt that you can go build your amazing business, right, as you do this so what I'm up to today, I hope you're all having a wonderful day and I will see you soon, bye.